AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I agree. He should have at least done a 360. Maybe a 720.

I'm starting to believe once again I'll die alone.

Everybody dies alone.

Do people live alone too ? 'cause I sure wish I wouldn't.

Welcome to the human condition.

Spoony, I know... I know all too well every human on this planet feels alone and wants nothing more than to... NOT be alone, but...
... should I just help someone so he/she won't feel alone anymore ? Would that really be enough ?...
Sometimes I feel like I'm wrong, thinking that... Like it's all for nothing...

I'm afraid that's a conversation you need to carry out with said party rather than strangers on the internet.

Hah, you're right. Heh, I wish I had a party, actually...
... meh, I just needed to wimp out a little. Whoever listened, I needed to burp that out...
Wow. Way to spoil the mood, huh ?...

Parties are overrated. Loud music, bad food, annoying people...

I just came back from one. It was meh. I'm used to being the only one knowing everyone and feeling like no one knows me.
Oh, and not drinking -I'm used to being the only guy never drinking. I don't like the taste. Ugh. Eww.

When my ex and I broke up a few months ago, it demolished me. I lost my job because I wasn't handling myself in the situation, which is really my own fault, but the point remains. We both agreed later on that it was her fault that we broke up. That she treated me poorly and got mad at me for the tiniest things, whereas I always remained neutral, never getting angry or yelling. That didn't stop me from hating myself for losing her. Even now.
We broke up on good terms, but didn't speak much for probably two months. After three or four weeks of me beating up on myself, I finally found some kind of solace in another girl who really wanted me. This was my biggest mistake. I didn't realize it because I was too busy being selfish, but I was using her to feel loved. So for a few weeks, I got a feeling of closeness from this girl, while she actually grew closer and closer to me.
Eventually, I realized I had to break this girl's heart. I could've spared her the blow I was about to deal if I'd just sucked it up and got over my ex on my own, but I chose poorly, and she hasn't spoken to me since. I told my ex about this, who promptly informed me that if I hadn't gone to this girl, she (my ex) would've taken me back.
Despite all this, my ex and I talk a lot now. We've opened up to each other more than we ever did when were together, but she still refuses to date me. We share almost bodaciously all the same interests, and we were compatible in almost every way when we were together, but according to her "we can't give each other what we both need right now." I don't know what this means, but she stands by it.
And now, on top of all of this, I've started to have dreams about my ex-fiance. The person I destroyed. The person who destroyed me and caused me to stagnate for two years after she dumped me. The person who threatened to have me killed if I ever set foot in her city again.
One thing is clear: I become far too emotionally attached when I enter a relationship. But the fact is, I can't handle all of these things piled on top of each other. I feel more guilt now than I ever have in my entire life, and it's eating away at me. I have no way to release it. I don't know what to do.

Caring too much about people isn't a character flaw. You said it yourself; you have no idea what "we can't give each other what we both need right now." means, and frankly, I doubt she does either. She's being presumptuous by assuming she knows what you need better than you do. You shouldn't do anything. Relax. Sit down, collect yourself, and just think. You already have your answers, I'm certain.

man i wish i could just give up on love, srsly

Spoony, are you a fucking psychatrist or just everyone's greatest friend ?