AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

A friend lost his left leg and arm in an accident, he's all right now.

For the record I think this is the worst thread on AZ

I can never BEAR too many puns.

The BEARY worst ones are about bears.

There was a prison where they made the prisoners dig long trenches. It didn't seem to help, but they decided to try it one more time.

It was a last ditch effort.

This foreing exchange student kept trying to brew tea from the cooking class's herbs

I guess the teacher told them ""ain't nobody got thyme for that"

Can anyone tell me where to find out which way water flows? I like keeping up with current events.

Just google it, they're over flowing with information.

PUN

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP

A friend of mine is turning into fog. He will be mist.

A policeman was going to stop me from pushing something down an incline, but then he said he'd let it slide.

Did you know that deities used to produce a thick, sticky black substance from their throats? Apparently it was delicious. I wonder how long it's been since anyone has had the neck tar of the gods

Have you heard about how they're using eggs to attach horses to plows? They're using improved yolks.

I got a group together to help each other get better at espionage. Someone recently asked what we're doing, so I said "We're aspiring"

I recently invested in a company that manufactures shovels. Now I've got cheddar in spades.

I'm going to take a lot of flak for this, but I'd like to fly over a battlefield.

I wasn't doing something that a dock wanted me to do, so it tried to crush me to make me acquiesce. I don't appreciate pier pressure.

I'm taking a class on rock outcroppings, but it's pretty complicated. I think I need some Cliff's notes.

Fancy ore is so refined.

How do you impress a high-class dog? You throw a ball.

A salesmen was getting into my personal bubble while trying to sell me an empty area so I said, "Alright, give me some space."

I accidentally hit a wire. It made a musical noise that really touched a friend of mine. I guess I really struck a cord.

A Spanish guy liked collecting numbers. One day he left without leaving anything but the number three. He left without a tres