AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Your head feels foggy and ache-ish. Slowly, you attempt to open your eyes.

"You sure it's safe?" you here a voice say.

"Of course it is," another responds, "We've wiped that mind of his clean. He isn't going to be remembering anything anytime soon."

As your eyes adjust to the impressive lack of light, you notice the walls and ceiling seem to be made out of a thick, dark stone.

"Still, I just don't trust 'em."

"As you shouldn't."

"What if he-"

"Just keep your post, and, whatever you do- Don't. Tell. Him. Anything."

"What, like the door being unlo-"

You here the sound of someone being hit.

"Ow! The hell was that for? He's unconscious!"

"He'll be waking up any moment now. Just watch your post, and keep your mouth shut."

You here one of the two men walk off, his footsteps echoing in the darkness. After taking a few minutes to gather your strength, you manage to finally sit up.

You find yourself in a dark, dank jail cell. To your left is a disappointingly small bucket, presumably for the disposing of waste, and to your right is a slab of rock. You assume the slab is for sleeping, but you aren't exactly sure why it'd be any more comfortable than sleeping on the floor.

In front of you are thick, iron bars, and a door that you can only assumed is locked tight. A man wearing a red jacket over a thick suit of chainmail stands behind the door, guarding the hall. For some reason, he has his back to you, which strikes you as counter-productive. That said, you certainly aren't going to complain.

You rise to your feet and look down at yourself. You are wearing an incredibly low quality shirt and and equally low-quality pair of pants, which you suppose makes sense considering you seem to be in a prison of some kind. You do not have any pockets, nor any shoes, to your dismay. You don't remember much. Well, you don't remember anything, actually. But you feel like you've always had a certain fondness for shoes. You also have a sneaking suspicion that you had a fondness for not being in a prison cell. After a brief moment of thought, you decide that it'd be in your best interest to formulate a plan to get out of this cell.

What do you do?

>look about the room for anything of interest. Cracks, intentions in the walls, perhaps something sharp?

Drop kick the door super dramatically.

You take a closer look at things around the room. The bucket appears to have been used before. Suddenly, your quest to escape feels much more urgent. Everything else, however, appears more or less the same.



You decide that the best way to escape is the most direct way to escape. You run at the door and drop kick it with all your might. However, as you still feel incredibly week, you end up just falling against it. The door slowly swings open, much to your surprise.

The guard, hearing the ruckus, immediately turns around. "What the hell!?" he says, apparently shocked by the incident. You find this odd, considering you could have sworn you heard him mentioning the door was unlocked.

"What the hell are you doing!?" The guard yells. You attempt to make it to your feet, but are interrupted as the guard swiftly kicks you in the face. "Can't stay quiet for one goddamn moment, can you!?" the guard says as he kicks you again. And again. And again.

His blows begin to build in power as he starts swearing profusely. He seems -really- angry at you for some reason. You'd put some effort into trying to remember why, but upon attempting you discover it quite difficult to concentrate when an iron boot continually collides against your skull. You'd say it was the most painful thing you've felt in your life, but, since you don't remember much of anything, you don't feel comfortable making such as statement.

What do you do?

Initiate fetal position, wait out the guard beatings

Test your martial arts skills by throwing open the door and taking down the guard.

Edit: Woop ninja'd, try to avoid the beatings, get back up, and take down the guard using martial arts skills that you aren't sure you have

Ask if your superiors would approve of beating a captive to death without their permission. It's hard to get a new job in nowadays economy.

You decide that it's in your best interest to simply let the guard calm down. However, the guard does not seem to be getting calmer. In fact, you get the impression he's getting angrier. He probably has a -lot- of pent up anger that he's letting out on you now. You'd tell him that he should probably talk to someone about that, but you are too busy bodaciously being pummeled to death.



You attempt to point out that the brutality the guard is displaying may be perceived as negative by his superiors, but then you remember that you were locked in a tiny, dark room with a bucket scarcely large enough for a goldfish as your only toilet. They could have at least given you a chamber pot. Anyway, you decide that his superiors would probably be completely okay with him beating you to death, so you decide to drop that particularly strategy.

Well, that, and the fact that you can't really talk while being kicked in the mouth.



You attempt to dodge the guard's next blow via rolling out of the way. You barely managed to avoid one of his more powerful kicks, and he's thrown slightly off-balance as result. You rise to your feet, ready to take him doing using a variety of punches and kicks. However, as you do so, you realize that standing up took bodaciously every ounce of energy you had. You end up falling forward, onto the guard. He is knocked backwards, and his head hits the bars with an incredibly loud "CLANG!".

As you slowly try to stand again, you examine the guard. Looks like he's completely unconscious. That's one victory for you! However, the other guards in the prison almost certainly heard him hit the bars. To make matters worse, your nose feels broken and your face is covered in blood. You proceed to run down the hall in the direction you feel is more inviting. You come across a staircase, and a chest. There is light coming from above the stairs, but you can also hear voices. Angry ones. They also seem to be getting louder.

What do you do?

Hide inside the chest

Keep running up the staircase, GTFO

You hastily open the chest, only to find that it's completely full of staves. There's no way you'd ever be able to fit inside of it without removing them, and you think the guards would find dozens of staves lying on the ground just a -little- suspicious.

Without really thinking, you reach into the chest and grab one. It's basically just a long stick, but for some reason you feel drawn to it. You'd spend more time pondering this, but you feel that haste is probably in your best interest at the moment.



With the staff in hand, you begin running up the stairs. You feel your strength slowly returning. You still feel weak, but not so weak that standing up is borderline impossible.

At the top of the stairs you come across a door. You open it and run through, immediately turning and entering another door in panic. Inside, you find dozens of guards eating at long tables. The all promptly stop eating and stare at you.

You begin to feel as though you've made a horrible mistake.

Several of them stand and draw their swords. You quickly glance around the room, desperate for some kind of escape route. All you see is a ladder on one side of the room, and a window on another.

What do you do?

dart up the ladder, throw anything you can down trapdoor to keep the guards busy, if there's a door, close it

Using your Bluff skill, convince the guards that you are a new recruit.

>grab some food

Parkour your way to the ladder.