AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Hello, denizens of Awkward Zombie.


I would like to submit my application for the position of Moderator of Awkward Zombie forums. I have a been a member of these forums since 2006, and I assure you that my very regular participation ensures that I know the rules inside out. I have only two warnings, both of which were acquired a very long time ago. This gives me insight into the criminal mind of a dastardly rule breaker on the Awkward Zombie forums. I daresay that most of you have far more warnings than I do.

As for my references, I myself am a former prince of Troy, son of Priam and Hecuba, who fought bravely in the Trojan War. Now I am an undergraduate studying Electrical Engineering and Computer Science at University of California, Berkeley (Cal). My experience in the Trojan War makes me great for handling small children, and my experience at UC Berkeley makes me great for handling hipsters and homeless men residing outside of my dorm. Some of you may question my spiritual life. I am a devout follower of the teachings of the legendary poster, Fooflyer. I believe he has transcended into a glorious realm of drunk posting stupor where none of us can hope to reach. We can only gaze in awe at his achievements.

In addition to all my previous credentials, I have also participated in many of the "adventures" that go on in the Awkward Zombie forums. I also do not get half of the weird references you guys make to TV shows or trendy things online in all the random threads that go on. I would also say that I am the only person who is really qualified to be a Moderator on the Awkward Zombie forums, as every engineer, ever is "Awkward", as you put it, and due to my classes and study habits, I have become a "Zombie" during the day.

Hopefully as you read my application the handsome (they're basically all male), brilliant, extraordinary, superhuman, intelligent, awe-inspiring Moderators of Awkward Zombie forum will make the right decision in appointing me as a fellow Moderator.


Kind regards,

Deiphobus

Awkward Zombie is a theocracy. The moderators are sent by the very Gods themselves.

I don't want to make things hard on you, Deiphobus, but you're not telling us everything.
You're not here since 2006.
AND I CAN PROVE IT
Right under your avatar, it says you joined in 2009.
Therefore you've been here since only 2009.
What are you trying to hide ?..
I rest my case.

Oh, and by the way, I'd make a great moderator too. I come on this forum every single day, just to watch the funny pictures -and, sometimes, by accident one or two other topics.

i promise more vending machines in the halls and to lengthen every passing period by an entire minute

Vote 4 Pedro

vote 4 bill hes our man
if he cant unfunny waste of space, time and resources noone can

lol

The concept of a moderator on this forum mindboggles me.

We have moderators!?!?! BLASPHEMY.

Do you ever stop and think "Maybe something is missing from my forum experiance", but you don't know what it is?

princess brothel knows.

It's bans.

Haha, no no little Trygeveuh, not Ray-bans, just plain old home made bans straight from the oven - just like momma Merlin used to make.

Did you know that since 2010 there has been an 80% drop in the number of bans made? And that almost 100% of active members aren't banned at all? There are users out there RIGHT NOW that are about to post in threads because they aren't banned? But don't you worry now, they're not going to hurt you any, just so long as you have love in your heart and a princess brothel For Moderator 2012 bumpersticker on your sports convertable.

God bless you all.

Save the democracy for the Athenians, boy.

No princess brothel, you cannot be the Secretary of Bans.

That role is permanently filled by ducktapegirl.

Besides, you are a Princess. You can't be elected to any office.

I eagerly await the swimsuit portion of this election process.

The Deathmatch in the Arena section should be entertaining.

I promise to be the best breaux I can be.

A breaux to all the boys and girls.
The best daisies breaux in the whole wide world.
I'll be a breaux to you and you.
I'll be a breaux to babies, too.
A breaux who's good, and never bad.
I'll even be a breaux to Great Handsome Oppressor.
So consider me, sleauxbreaux, for prez,
And I'll live up to all I sez.

You're fired, Patrick.

Also, hey who knows. I might actually bring one of you lucky ladies

dazzle me

(no handjobs)