AWKWARD ZOMBIE

So I've been doing a bit of job-searching in this new town I've moved into (which is a terrible place to be, I may add), and so far the only place to work at guaranteed would be the local Taco Bell and I start on Monday. I know, terrible. Any job is better than no job, but it's still a bad place to work. I already know working there is gonna suuuuuuck.

But I asked the local book store around here (Bookland) and they told me to apply for a position there online. I may end up getting hired there, and if I get it, I'm immediately dropping my job at Taco Bell to work there. Everything about the job at Bookland will be better (better work conditions, better fellow employees, I assume higher than minimum wage pay). But I was thinking about doing something incredibly awesome as a RAEGQUIT departure. I had one idea, but I wanna know what AZ thinks I should do if this happens.

Any ideas?

i would not advise that, cause if your book selling thing falls through you may be able to reapply to taco bell

just sayin

Perhaps. I'm just as likely to keep that job too though if I get it.

Replace their meat with excrement.

Honestly, they won't know the difference.

Take a shit on the counter.

Not one, but two suggestions involving shit.

This is gold guys. Keep it up.

Go to all of the soap dispensers in the bathrooms. Replace with a 1 to 1 mixture of soap and semen.

i like this one

Stick your dick in the burritos.

Freeze your bathwater and have them use it for ice.

replace mayonnaise with semen

but i agree with hitman.

If you get caught, your employers at Taco Bell are sure to let your new employer know. That, and like hitman said, Burning bridges is never a good idea.

When someone asks for a couple of ice cubes

Just put in one!

make a taco

then casually throw it at an employee/employer/customer

Do a musical departure, singing how it sucks working at Taco Bell. Find a few friends to act as customers. They will join you in your singing and choregraphy later in the song. Don't forget to hide a speaker or two somewhere.

If you don't sing, just run to the door and yell a catchphrase of your liking, such as "Boom goes the dynamite" or something equally cheesy.

This.

Or a reverse "Fire in the Hole" prank, where you are doing drive thru duty, and you yell, "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" and throw the food at the customer and then run away.