AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Hey you! Yeah, you!

Do you like food? Me too!

Do you like bad food? Me too! I mean, me neither!

Do you wish there was a way to know if your food is bad or not before you waste your hard earned dolla bills on it? Well, that's what I'm going to attempt to do!

Welcome to my amateur food reviews! Here I'll be, well, reviewing food! What kind of food? Any kind of food. Fast food, slow food, slow-cooked food, baked food, grilled food, Kentucky fried food, whatever. Recipes? Sure, why not? Recipes involve food. Higher quality restaurants? When my wallet can handle it, sure! Whatever I say goes! And whatever you say goes, too! You can make suggestions! And I might listen! Do note, however, that I'm currently stationed in Arizona for college, so your East Coast delectables might not reach my humble tongue.

Righto! So let's begin!

Steak N' Shake: Original Double N' Cheese w/ Regular Fries

Calories: 880
Price: $3.99(before tax)
Location: 699 Mill Avenue, Tempe, AZ

So a Steak N' Shake recently opened just outside my university, and people were FLIPPING OUT ABOUT IT. Well, everyone who heard about it, that is. Some people I know managed to not hear the news until I told them about it. I also happened to apply for a job at said Steak N' Shake, and surprise, surprise, didn't hear back from them.



Anyway, I'd only heard how amazing Steak N' Shake is, how you NEED to go, it's SO GOOD, OH GOSH WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN THERE YET, MARC YOU IDIOT. Well, spurred on by the hype(and the fact that I was walking by and happened to notice it's open on Thanksgiving today), I decided that I must know why this fast food joint has garnered such praise! Did it live up to my expectations? Did it make me want scrape the taste off my tongue with a Brillo pad? Do I wish I got my cheddar back? Well....no, no, aaaaand, no.

Let's talk about Steak N' Shake itself first. This won't affect the actual grade it gets, but there were some noteworthy things about the place itself. First of all, they had one of those really dumb glass partitions that don't actually separate anything, situated right in front of the entrance. The only possible reason I could think of for having one is so that people can more easily get into different lines to get their orders....maybe? Secondly, the menu was super small, which isn't a bad thing. I mean, heck, my favorite burger chain, In N' Out, has a tiny order selection as well.



It just surprised me in retrospect when I went to Steak N' Shake's website and found out that their regular menu is HUGE. I guess we have a mini Steak N' Shake here? Well, I'm not complaining, at least. They mostly sell burgers, which is what I came for, but also have a small variety of hot dogs, some sides, and milkshakes. One thing I did notice is that they've got quite a few choices for fries. You can get regular fries, as well as different types of seasoned fries, like salt and pepper, sea salt and vinegar, and garlic and herbs. I like this idea! It's definitely one of the things that sets Steak N' Shake apart from other fast food places in town. Also, I got a bit of a surprise when I ordered my food, paid the cashier, and was handed my receipt and a plastic box with electronics inside it in exchange. Noticing my confused look, the cashier explained that it's a FREAKING PAGER.



So yeah, you're notified that your food is ready BY PAGER. The thing buzzes and flashes red lights when the cashier pushes the appropriate button. Uhh..... OK, then. That's.....unique, I guess? And maybe slightly inconsiderate to epileptics? Lastly, they have one of these neat little soda fountains that pop up all over near my university, where you pick a soda and then you can choose to add different flavors to it. Cherry Dr. Pepper is excellent, just saying.

Wow, OK, I talked a lot more about the actual place than I anticipated. Let's get on to the food, already! Since this was my first time at a Steak N' Shake, I decided to order something simple: A Double on Cheese....no, that's not it....Double with Cheese.....no, uhh....Original Double Cheese with Burger....screw it, it's a double cheeseburger(OK, STEAKburger, if we're being technical), all right? It had some silly name I can't remember. I got that, it came with regular fries, and I also ordered a regular fountain drink on the side.



Presentation

Presentation essentially means "Does this look like something I would want to eat?", and also "Does this look like what was advertised?" The answer to the second question is MMMMMMNOPE. I came into the place expecting this:



(From Steak N' Shake's website)

I did not get this:



That's pretty much exactly what was shown on the menu above the cash register. Look how big that thing looks! Two gorgeous steakburger patties, a golden piece of cheese nestled gently in-between them, and a bunch of toppings that I was going to take off anyway, so I don't care about that. That's not exactly what I got. When my FREAKING PAGER(still not over that) told me that my food was ready after a short wait, I got a little basket with my prize, sat down, and promptly wondered if I got the wrong order. The burger was super tiny, and the patties looked kinda....I don't know....shriveled at the edges. Not only that, but they were so thin that I could hardly tell there were two of them there. I couldn't even see the cheese before I opened the burger up and looked for it.



The fries were also much smaller than I expected. Sometimes I'd get nice long fries, but every now and then, a short little nub of a fry popped up that wasn't even worth dipping in ketchup. None of them were particularly crispy, either, which is just a personal complaint of mine. I like me some crispy fries. Also as a minor complaint, some of the fries were a bit overcooked at the end, to the point where they weren't golden brown anymore, but a darker brown. Not exactly burnt, just a tad overcooked. Finally, the burger's toppings took me by surprise a bit. It had the standard lettuce, tomato, pickles, blah blah blah, but ketchup was the only condiment present on the burger. No mustard or even mayonnaise in sight. Not a problem for ketchup lovers, such as myself, but I can see how some people(insane people) would desire some mustard on their burger.



There might have been mustard and mayonnaise packets lying around somewhere, but I too distracted by that DANG PAGER to look for them.

Overall, the presentation could have been better. It wasn't a complete mess, but definitely not what I was expecting. For presentation, this burger and fries combo gets a......



Taste

This one's pretty simple. Does it taste good? It's like, the most important part probably. C'mon, do I need to explain this?

So, the burger. It was pretty satisfying. The bun was toasted, and I could really tell as I ate. As for the meat, it was nicely seasoned, although I don't think it's quite up to par with the likes of In N' Out and Five Guys. The one thing I didn't like is that the single slice of cheese on the burger was completely overpowered by the other ingredients. You'd think an ingredient in the NAMESAKE of the item in question would be featured prominently, but alas, it was not to be.



The fries, despite their boring ol' regular status, were pretty tasty! Even the nibblets had a nice flavor to them. Best of all, the flavor of the oil and salt didn't overpower the flavor of the fry itself. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, MCDONALD'S. Although, again, not quite as good as certain other chain's fries, Five Guys in particular. Sorry, In N' Out, as much as I love you, Five Guys has better fries.



To sum up, the meal as a whole was pretty good, and left me decently full. In short, for taste this combo gets a.....



Cost

Simply put, is it worth your cheddar? Do you get a good deal for the price? In this case, the answer is OH HECK YES SON.

Just....just scroll back up and look at the price. $3.99.

THREE
FREAKING
NINETY-
NINE

BEFORE TAX



That is like Taco Bell levels of cheap. That is like "I'm a poor college kid, where can I get a cheap meal?" cheap. And that's not just the burger. That's the burger AND fries. Even with the drink, after tax, my total came to a paltry $6.26. I am pretty sure I pay more AT Taco Bell. Compared to places like Wendy's, Jack-In-The-Box, and Burger King, that's a really good price. This is easily the best reason to go to Steak N' Shake. For the same price as a burger alone at some of the other big chains, you get a burger, fries, AND a drink at Steak N' Shake. And a pager! (STILL NOT OVER THAT) Although, one thing to note is that, according to Steak N' Shake's website, "every meal is under $4", and that's not entirely accurate. I did notice an organic steakburger and fries combo for around $6. Just another reason to never stray from the status quo!

In the category of price, this combo gets a.....



Averaging the grades from the other categories gives Steak N' Shake's Original Double N' Cheese Combo a.....



I'll put up pictures of things other than me being an idiot in the next review. Be sure to leave comments and suggestions, and pop flyin' Thanksgiving!

Burger left me in friend zone 0/10 inaccurate review/

A pager for a burger place? I have only seen those at the sit down restaurants with long wait times.

We do not have a Steak N Shake here, so I will be sticking with In N Out.

Never even heard of Steak N Shake, but no fast food joint ever has the actual picture of their food, or any food in commercial ever, the entire food advertising industry is basically one big smoke and mirrors operation. That said, as long as it tastes decent and isnt super pricy, Id consider it a win

I'm aware that nothing ever actually looks the way it's advertised, but what I was trying to convey was that the difference was ASTOUNDING. VERY unlike what was pictured.

Like tis one? Because if this is what their burgers look like, thats kinda sad

Actually, yeah, that's pretty accurate to what mine looked like.

I'm surprised you went into so much detail but neglected to mention that steakburgers are made with steak meat mixed in with the normal ground beef stuff. I don't know if your burger was subpar due to noobs in the kitchen or something, but this makes the burger taste very unique in my opinion, and at least deserves a mention since no one else does that with their burgers.

If you go back, try the chilli (preferrably the chilli on spaghetti, I love that jazz). It's also made with steak and very good.

Overall fair review though. I wouldn't mind following your adventures through university campus food locales.

The Whataburger in my town had pagers when it first opened, but people started stealing them (fucking WHY) so they give people the little plastic number markers now.

Yeah, as soon as I posted that review, I realized I glossed over that point.

STEAK N' SHAKE BURGERS ARE MADE WITH STEAK, GUYS

WHO KNEW

Also, yes, it just opened about a month ago, so everyone on staff there is fairly new.

I've always found their chicken strips to be surprisingly good.

Their breakfasts used to be AMAZING but last time I had it it was different and bad. I don't know why; the only thing I can think of is that when I had good breakfasts there it was when I still lived in Florida, and the last time was sometime after I moved to Ohio, so maybe it's different depending on the state? idk probably not but

Aww, other Steak N' Shakes have chicken strips?

And BREAKFAST?

No fair....

Marcato does not have a love affair with Hunt's ketchup?

Why are we listening to his food reviews. Clearly he likes vile bargain bin ketchup.

I love all ketchups equally. The generic ketchup is just more cost effective.

That's like saying that you like wearing socks made out of wool, cotton, and cactus needles equally.

YOU'RE A MAN WITH POOR TASTES AND YOU ARE UNFIT TO PASS JUDGEMENT ON FOOD.