AWKWARD ZOMBIE

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: sup stranger
Stranger: what are ya buyin
You: Buying?
Stranger: ahhhh good eye stranger
You: Well, I saw that Dragon Ball movie today
You: Turns out
You: It's pretty good
Stranger: YOU LIE
Stranger: ITS SHIT
Stranger: NOT GOING TO SEE IT
Stranger: NO ONE IS GOING TO RAPE MY CHILDHOOD
Stranger: THAT MOVIE WILL
You: EXCEPT GOKU ONLY TURNS INTO A 6 FOOT MONKEY
You: NOT 100 FEET
Stranger: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
You: That was the only part that sucked
Stranger: and master roshi dies?
You: Yes
Stranger: ah gay
You: Then lives again
Stranger: gayer
Stranger: was going to see it today
Stranger: but then I was like
Stranger: "nah I have dignity"
Stranger: so I sat home
Stranger: and did shit
You: There were like 6 people in the theater
Stranger: they are all heroes
You: And I came out at about the same time the Hannah Montanah movie ended
You: And there were like 50 little girls
Stranger: should have went and saw it
You: And 2 embarrased boys
You: At least they kept Piccolo green
You: In the early version, he was pale white
Stranger: still raged
You: LIKE EDWARD THE GAY VAMPIRE
Stranger: sparklin'
You: I bet that isn't even natural
You: They just cover themselves with glitter
You: Because it makes them feel pretty
Stranger: daisies vampires
Stranger: lying to us
You: You can never trust a vampire
You: Especially a sparkling one.
Stranger: I'd sparkle his face off
Stranger: with my FIST
You: Good move
You: Then sparkle his nuts off
You: With your foot
Stranger: it will be amazing
Stranger: people from across the land will come and watch this event
You: The killing of Edward
You: I'd watch that
Stranger: yeah you would
You: I'd pay cheddar to watch that
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: you pay me cheddar
Stranger: to watch that
You: Exactly
Stranger: you will be first row
You: You'd be rich
Stranger: I will make sure to signal you out of the crowd so you feel special
You: And the fangirls would protest
You: And we'd laugh at them
You: As the security tear gasses them
Stranger: I'd laugh but die on the inside knowing I dont have groupies
You: You'd have lots of friends though
You: And enemies
You: You'd be the most conflicting person on the planet
Stranger: just like Canada
You: Then
You: 10 years later
You: A lone fangirl will crawl in your room
You: And bite your neck
You: And kill you
You: And she gets the death penalty
Stranger: hahahaha from the grave kill bitch
You: She just screams "I LOVE YOU EDWARD" all the while
You: You will be remembered as the greatest man in history
You: And I'll be that guy who was in the front row
You: So I'll sap off of that
You: And go on talkshows
You: "Yeah, I knew him. Pretty cool, pretty cool."
You: "He hated that Dragon Ball movie though"

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I'm a upstanding member of society.
Stranger: oh god nvm
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I'm a upstanding member of society.
Stranger: hey!
Stranger: ...
Stranger: whats up?
You: Do you even know what that is?
Stranger: no..
You: Oh
You: Don't look it up.
You: I'm serious.
You: Never.
You have disconnected.

You: I'm a upstanding member of society.
Stranger: hello
You: Do you know what a upstanding member of society is?
Stranger: sorry
You: Oh.
You: NEVER LOOK IT UP EVER.
You: I'M SERIOUS.
You: DO NOT GO TO GOOGLE AND SEARCH upstanding member of society!
You have disconnected.

You: I'm a upstanding member of society.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I'm a upstanding member of society.
Stranger: I'm a pedo
You: Well then we're perfect for each other!
You have disconnected.

You: I'm a upstanding member of society.
Stranger: i am a bear
You: ...
Stranger: lets go
Stranger: right now
You: Woah, it's like we're brothers
You: Where to?
Stranger: or sisters
Stranger: o.O
Stranger: the party obviously
You: upstanding member of society PARTY! WOOOO!
Stranger: PARTY!
You: I'll bring the beer!
Stranger: i hear they have a smokin beaver there
Stranger: I'll bring the condoms
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I'm a upstanding member of society.
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Me:
Dzien Dobry [Hello}
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Co? [What?]
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Nie. [no]
God:
Sag niemals nie!
Me:
Dzienkuje! [Thank you!]
God:
Do you like talking to me?

Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Tak. [yes.]
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Nie skurwysyn. [No you son of a-]
God:
Sag niemals nie!
Me:
Co to Jest? [whats the matter?]
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Fajnie. [fine.]
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Co? [What?]
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
Lubic czarny koszulowy. [Like black shirts.]
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
gdziekolwiek. Nie drogo cena. [Anywhere. No big cost.]
God:
In the context of Lubic czarny koszulowy, I don't understand " gdziekolwiek." . Sag niemals nie!
Me:
Fajnie..... [Fine....]
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
To jest komputer. [This is a computer.]
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Co? Nie rozumiec. [What? I don't understand.]
God:
That's an interesting rationalization. Sag niemals nie!
Me:
Ale....... Nie rozumniec? [but...... I don't understand?]

You: hey
Stranger: gimme naked pics
You: I'm a gay 16 year old teenager who is a upstanding member of society and pretends he's an anthropomorphic meatloaf
You: do you really want pictures?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Me:
What should I do if I have a problem in which I cannot stop masturbating?
God:
Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
...Yes.
God:
Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me:
Advice to the question I first asked.
God:
Can you ask for advice in the form of a question?.
Me:
I already have.
God:
When?
Me:
My first question I asked to this conversation to you.
God:
Where did you get your first question you asked to this conversation to me?
Me:
When I started masturbating.
God:
Will you finish it.
Me:
Not until you answer it.
God:
Oh I get it.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hot gay guy with cam on msn?
You: ...I know a few, but none are on.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hi thur
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm not lying

You: Hii
Stranger: hoy
You: Roy
You: Paperboy
Stranger: sarah
Stranger: waitress
You: Luliboy
Stranger: Little asian man
You: Pedobear
You: Random person
Stranger: Rape/Fish salesman
Stranger: do u live in london?
You: No. Try Fort Lauderdale.
Stranger: close
Stranger: dont be so rude
Stranger: i used to live fort lauderdale
Stranger: being serious
You: The Awkward Zombie forums are rubbing off on me.

You: Hi.
Stranger: Catherine McCormack
You: Who, what?
Stranger: I'm Bruce Willis
You: Ah.
Stranger: LLLLLEROOOOOOY JENNNNKIIIINNNNNSSS!
You: Now, Mr. /b/tard, one lump or two?
Stranger: 10!
Stranger: yes 10, cuz we're REALLY hungry!!!!!!!!!!
You: You ARE the weakest link.
Stranger: goodbye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: GET THE FUCK OUT
Stranger: hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: GET
Stranger: OMG OMG OMG!
You: OUT
Stranger:
　　 ∩＿＿＿∩
　　 | ノ　　　 ヽ/⌒)
　 /⌒) (ﾟ)　　(ﾟ)　|　.|　　　　　▂ ▪　▂▄▅▆▇■▀▀〓◣▬ ▪ ￭ … ．
　/　/　 　( _●_)　ミ/　　．▂▅■▀ ▪ ￭　▂¨ ∵▃ ▪ ・
（　　ヽ　　|∪|　／　　　◢▇█▀　¨▂▄▅▆▇██■■〓◥◣▄
　＼　　　 ヽノ　/　　￭ ▂▅██▅▆▇██■〓▀▀ ◥◣ ∴ ▪ ．
　 /　　　　　　/　▅▇███████▀ ▪ ∴ …．▅　￭　 ◥◣
　|　　　_つ◥▅▆▇████████▆▃▂　 ▪ ￭▂▄▃▄▂
　|　 /ω＼　＼ ￭　 ¨ ▀▀▀■▀▀▀ ▪ ￭ ∴‥
　|　/ 　　　 )　 )
　∪　 　　 （　 ＼
　　　　 　　 ＼＿)
You: lolwut
Stranger: Pedobear loves you
You: oh god
You: what the fuck
Stranger: You know you love it
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: MAKE ME LAUGH OR I WILL KILL YOU!
You: ...
You: Kim?
Stranger: what? Kim? thats not funny!
You: OH MY GOD KIM THANK YOU FOR THREATENING TO BOMB JAPAN IF THEY DIDN'T PRODUCE MORE ANIME I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!
You: WILL YOU SIGN MY NIPPLE?
Stranger: wait what?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: LINK BALEETED
You: ...?
You: Why do I want porn?
Stranger: i wanna cyber u
Stranger: so bad
Stranger: i wanna make u cum
You: Unless it's brand new, complete with no less than THREE women from Madagascar, TWO men from Japan, and a Klondike bar, I don't care.
Stranger: i wanna make ur hard dick cum so baddd
Stranger: plz?
You: Unless it's something like Stickam, no.
You: You'd have to do the keyboard test first.
You: :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HI THAR
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: hello
Stranger: What's going on?
You: Dunno
Stranger: Well, then you're a stupid faggot.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.