AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Learn a defensive discipline. Fast.


And get a page.

Wait for the inevitable tragedy that will strike your pop flyin' little village and force you to go on a big old adventure.


That is how these sort of things work. It is a law of both nature and physics.

You dress into a fall jacket and a skirt, since you'd probably get yelled at by your mom if you wore your normal clothes. You also put on your dress shoes, which you avoid wearing until special occasion calls for it.

You go outside, considering saying hi to every person in town, but you're already running late as it is.



You pick up a fork lying on your desk, and through a 4 minute montage, you gain a skill point the art of fork-fu. You put the fork in your jacket pocket for safe keeping, in case another filthy radroach decides to show its face again, and dad isn't around to KILL THE BUG EW KILL THE BUG.



You stand in your room a bit longer, because you know how these life-shattering events work.
But when you realize the clock is definitely over your 10 minutes of time that mom let you have, you race down to the lobby and your mom is out there waiting. She looks at you, but doesn't say anything.



Also you realize that inevitable tragedies are kind of hard when your author tries to avoid the cliche.

Look for two more forks, and show ya moves.

Find Old Spice. It will be important in your quest that will inevitably come.

Go to party.

Find hot guy to possibly date later.