AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Okay, it turns out that the planet wasn't on fire. It was some kind of fuel something-another that burned everything. It was all just really resistant to fire.

So, like, shooting's over. Not sure what all happened, but Mak is in Space Prison now. No one is dead.

It's weird.


Anyway, I took the liberty to send Steve off, along with a bunch of trinkets I found in the gift shop, at the speed of light back to Earth. Going by the schedule I was given, you should expect your gifts on November 17th, 2289.
... They apparently don't use spacial distortion engines for the Automated Galaxy Mail system.

... Sorry.

This is an outrage. Send strongly worded letters to the mail system.

At least my great grandchildren can terrorize Earth with steve.

Left off a couple of "greats", there.



... Okay, so I found out where the duck tape stash is, and I fixed things!
With the tape!

Lots of tape!

You can’t go wrong with two-hundred and seventy pounds of duck tape!


In other news, Mak was involved in a cloning experiment, it seems. The space government didn’t like it and arrested him. There’re no space lawyers around here to tell me the space reasons for space clones being space bad. I figured there’d be clones all over the place, but there aren’t any.

We’re having trouble getting the engines fired up. I tried calling the number on the side, but I got a support team from Space India, and I have difficulty understanding certain accents- especially space accents. The four minute delay between saying things and getting a reply didn’t help too much. The most I could make out was “make sure it’s plugged in” and “press the power button” and a bunch of space paper flipping noises. Half an hour in, Ludra took over the call and it turned out that it was a help line for getting a food synthesizer up and running.
I didn’t know we had a food synthesizer.
Also, Ludra is nice.

Zoltos keeps glaring at me for some reason. I think he thinks it’s all my fault that things are being so weird. It’s not like I’m the one who dragged me into space. I was just minding my own business and shoving farmers out of giant spotlights in the middle of the night.
I completely forgot the context that involved me being in the middle of a farm in the first place.

I am getting off-topic.

We don’t have a robot.
I’ve been thinking about it, and I haven’t seen a single robot since I got to space.
Not even a space Roomba.
What the heck?! I want to see robots!

One of the reds who joined up with us for some reason that I don’t recall is a cyborg, but that’s not interesting enough.

… I’m going to go back to hitting space things with a space hammer and hope that fixes somespacething.



One more thing:

Space.

Get ye space

Like go out there and introduce the vacuum of space to a glass jar

You can sell it for millions as a jar without any air in it

Get ye space

Oh. That's brilliant!

Much better than this jar of alien planet air.

What was I thinking? Earth already has air.

If everything goes according to plan, I can use the materials sent in 2287 to create a time machine and prevent all ofthis from ever happening!

I'm so evil, nyeh heh...heh??

Go interact with others.

I'm not sure what's going on, but I saw something about Red. Eradicate space communism.